In the last few months, someone close to me has been diagnosed with cancer. I’ve never experienced this before so it has been a very challenging experience on every level. I’ll be honest with you, just the word cancer has a direct association with dying. That’s the power of suggestion for you!
I have gone through, and still do some of the darkest moments of my life as I ask questions like ‘why me?’? why now?’ and ‘how did this happen?’. Then I’ve been fast forwarding to the worst possible outcome and the impact this will have on me and those close to me. I’ve had a strange split experience. On the one hand because of what I do for a living, my head knows how to think positively and adapt a positive attitude to the future. And yet in my heart, I’ve been screaming with the weight of all the emotions and the exhaustion that brings and I’ve been overcome and overwhelmed by that on occasions.. I’ve also been having a real crisis of confidence about how life can change so suddenly. The support from friends has been amazing and the experience has galvanised the relationships with those people I care about.
At the same time, I’ve never been so clear about what is really important to me – family and close friends and I’ve been amazed at how this process has strengthened these connections so much. I’ve also let go of all the dreary worries and concerns I’ve had.. This has been so liberating just to embrace and enjoy life in the moment!
If there’s one thing I intend to take from all of this, it is to embrace the present because that’s all there is! I often use this quote with clients who come to see me in crisis and I now see its relevance to me.
‘It often takes a crisis to break through our usual models of the world. A crisis is a gift, an opportunity, and perhaps a manifestation that life loves us, by beckoning us to go beyond the dance we presently perform ‘Leslie Lebeau