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I’ve been working with a client recently whose quality of thought is driving her mad. She has a bee in her bonnet about her partner’s ex’s. Whenever he mentions a previous partner she gets herself into a frenzied thought pattern. We worked out what she was saying to herself:

He’s comparing her to me, how dare he?

What if she’s better than me?

What if he decides to dump me and go back to her?

He’s going to end the relationship

If he does, I don’t know what I’ll do.

And so it went on. A whole load of mind reading, and seeing catastrophe when it doesn’t actually exist.

She came to me because she didn’t want to think in this way anymore. It was causing major problems in her relationship and funnily enough, her worst fear was coming closer and closer.

Everyone has all sorts of negative, sometimes dark thoughts all the time. It’s part of being a human being. It’s not the thought that’s he problem, it’s whether you choose to feed it or not.

Consider this view of how we are. We all have these 3 things:

  • Mind – its like an endless paint pallet. Every colour you can think of and the possibilities within it are endless.
  • Consciousness – a whole range of experiences that create our reality. The picture we are currently painting, the way we make sense of the world, see the world around and feel about ourselves.
  • The gift of Thought – the paintbrush which determines how our reality is being created and re-created moment by moment and day by day.

So with this in mind, when my clients says ‘I don’t want to think like this anymore’, my response is, ‘Then don’t, you don’t have to!’ In truth we create our own reality, our particular perception of the world. If you don’t like it, change it. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? It can be a lot easier than you think

Cognitive Hypnotherapy is the most powerful way to change ‘our version of the world. This client now has a much happier relationship with her partner and chooses more to create the reality she wants by not feeding those unhelpful negative thoughts.

This way of working can achieve significant change irrespective of your problems.

Jill Tonks

Jill Tonks


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