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Seth Godin in his recent blog on presentation fears identifies 2 key things presenters get wrong. Any teaching moment in a group or a one to one as a professional as a parent, as a friend isn’t about you, it’s about how you can offer something of value to the person or group you are engaging. The human brain is a funny thing! We tend to jump to conclusions about what’s right for the other party sometimes without checking this out. Every time some one asks us for something or outlines a problem they are having, our brain rushes to advice quickly; it’s just the way its wired! Cutting corners in tis way has given us an evolutionary advantage in emergencies! Their arent that many emergencies these days and when there is, its pretty obvious!

The skill in any conversation is working out how to enable your audience to reach their own conclusions by listening to you. There are so many creative ways you can do this. Telling stories is one of the most effective.

Did you ever wonder how a lobster grows bigger when it’s encased in such a hard shell?
When the lobster begins to feel cramped inside the shell, it instinctively looks for a place to rest while the hard shell comes off and the next shell forms. While this occurs, the lobster is vulnerable to attack or being thrown against a coral reef. The lobster must literally risk its life in order to grow.
Our lives are like this as well. In order to move out of our comfort zones, we must take risks; we must be willing to be vulnerable. If we don’t, we can’t grow. We can’t become all we were meant to be.
Sometimes, this growth occurs because of discomfort, boredom or restlessness. At other times, we’re faced with painful or even life-threatening challenges. All of these are usually signs that it’s time to come out of our old shell and create a new one.
Remember, there’s risk in changing, but even greater risk from NOT changing. We are becoming more than we have been with each year of our lives.
We all know when our shells have gotten too tight. We feel angry or depressed or frightened because life is no longer exciting or challenging. We are doing the same old things and beginning to feel bored. Or we are doing things we hate to do and are feeling stifled in our shells.

Some of us continue to smother in old shells that are no longer useful or productive. That way we can at least feel safe – nothing can happen to us. Others are wiser; even though we know we will be vulnerable – that there are dangers ahead – we realize that we must take risks or suffocate.

‘Life begins at the end of your comfort zone’ Neale Donald Walsh


Jill Tonks

Jill Tonks